You should have moved on already. Has anyone ever told you this? Perhaps you’ve told it to yourself?
Sometimes I notice myself thinking thoughts like “It’s been awhile since he died. I should have already gotten closure. I’m wasting my time with all this sadness.”
But there is nothing useful about any of those thoughts.
How do you know if a thought is useful? Simple. Ask yourself how you feel when you think it.
When a thought creates an emotion that feels open and expansive, it serves you. If it feels closed and restrictive, it doesn’t. Thoughts that feel good lead to actions that support your best life.
Try on these thoughts and see how they feel in your body:
I am healing in the time that is right for me.
I love and accept myself as I experience this phase of my life.
I still hurt sometimes and that’s ok.
I take care of myself as I heal.
I allow my grief to be what it is without resistance.
The bottom line… your grief experience is uniquely yours and your thoughts about it are yours to choose. Only you will know which thoughts serve you. Choose those that are useful.