One of my clients was incredibly frustrated. Her deceased husband was an avid collector and she was ready to part with some of his collectibles. His family wanted the collectibles but didn’t want to go through his belongings. They felt it was too soon and she was being insensitive. She was afraid she would upset them and was feeling stressed and worried.
Here’s the thing. We can’t make someone else feel upset. In fact, we can’t make someone else feel anything. Emotions come from thoughts. They are not contagious or transferrable. My emotions are a result of my thoughts. Your emotions are a result of your thoughts.
This is the foundation of emotional adulthood: accepting complete responsibility for your thoughts, feelings, actions and results and allowing others to do the same.
I suggested my client make a decision knowing her husband’s family is entitled to choose their experience. Their happiness is not dependent on her actions.
And thank goodness because the alternative would mean we have to control the uncontrollable in order to feel good.
Make decisions you believe are best and let other people have their opinions.