Who Are You Now That He’s Gone?

Losing your husband can leave you feeling lost. The person who has been your constant companion, the keeper of your secrets, the one who tells you you’re beautiful and loved, your soft place to fall at the end of a long day, is gone. You have identified for so long as “Dave’s wife” or “married to Dave” and any alternative is completely foreign. It’s a bit like losing your reflection. You look in the mirror but you’re not completely sure who’s looking back. Who are you now that he’s gone?

When you’re in this lost space, it’s hard to know what to do. And most days, just getting through and checking items off your to-do list feels difficult enough. But there’s a part of you that wants to get it figured out because having just lost your best friend, you know life is short.

Feeling strangely uncomfortable in your new way of being is common. But it doesn’t have to last forever.

In my coaching program I guide clients through a process of getting clear on what is important to them and finding their purpose. Here are some of the things we discuss… journal your own answers:

1. What activities bring me joy? What is it that I love so much that I forget to eat while I’m doing?
2. If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I do?
3. If I only had one year left, how would I live and what would I want to be remembered for?

PS – Don’t allow “I don’t know.” It’s natural for your brain to try and protect you by keeping you stuck in confusion. Don’t accept this. Your brain can do better. If you did know, how would you answer? Write down what comes to mind without filtering or judgement.

If you get stuck or want to go deeper, click here for free help.

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Krista St-Germain Avatar
About your coach

I created a new life using small, manageable steps and techniques that made sense. The changes I experienced were so profound I became a Master Certified Life Coach and created a group coaching program for widows like us called Mom Goes On. It’s now my mission to show widowed moms exactly how to do what I’ve done and create a future they can look forward to.

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